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So I thought Growth would be a good theme for this week\u2019s newsletter. How do we grow? What needs to be in place to ensure that we can, and do, grow? What are some of the less obvious and less discussed elements of growth?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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CHANGE…<\/mark><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The\u00a0Theory of Adult Development<\/a>\u00a0was hands down the most interesting concept I learned about last year. Exploring the differences between the Socialized Mind and the Self-Authoring Mind has been a fascinating journey of discovery for me, both personally and professionally. MINDSET…<\/mark><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Growth is at least as much about mindset as it is about actions. Carol Dweck literally wrote the book on\u00a0Mindset<\/a>\u00a0and how much of an impact a growth vs fixed mindset has:\u00a0 ASKING FOR HELP…<\/mark><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n One of my professors at university used to say there was a magic question. It was: \u201cI need help. Can you help me?\u201d He believed that no one was able to say no to such a direct request for help. BETTER, NOT PERFECT…<\/mark><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n I wrote a newsletter a while ago on\u00a0Perfectionism<\/a>\u00a0\u2013 a topic I think many of us can relate to! Sometimes the need to be or do things perfectly can block our interest in growth. If you have to do something perfectly, will you start something if you aren\u2019t already good at it?\u00a0 GROWTH IS NOT FOR METRICS…<\/mark><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Too often we conflate things that can be measured with our priorities. It can be much easier to work towards a goal that has metrics. Believe me, I get it!! I am after all the person who has an Excel spreadsheet of all the books she has read since 1998, complete with statistics!! So I know the joy of metrics.\u00a0 We are living in the age of optimization.<\/em>
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So imagine my sheer joy when I discovered that Bren\u00e9 Brown was interviewing one of the constructors of the Theory of Adult Development, Lisa Lahey!! This was mind-blowing for me.\u00a0
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In this two-part podcast, Bren\u00e9 not only interviews Lisa Lahey but is actually coached by her! It\u2019s a brilliant conversation and allows us to experience a world thought leader being vulnerable, raw, and real. The line that resonated most with me, was this:\u00a0
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\u201cI am perpetuating the behaviour that is depleting me<\/em><\/strong>.\u201d
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Wow. Record scratch moment. Time stood still. Is this ever me!\u00a0So how to change and grow out of being your own worst enemy?? Listen to both parts of this incredible interview\u00a0here<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0here<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/jnhcoaching.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/Dare-To-Lead-824x1024.jpg\")
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\u201cIndividuals who believe that their talents can be developed (through hard work, good strategies and input from others) have a growth mindset. They tend to achieve more than those with a more fixed mindset (those who believe their talents are innate gifts.)<\/em>\u201d
The subtitle to the book is \u201cChanging the way you think to fulfill your potential\u201d and I believe that is indeed a key component to growth: how you think. You can\u2019t grow with a fixed mindset.
[I\u2019ll be completely honest here and say that although I think the concept of mindsets is incredibly impactful, I personally found the book quite dry. I judge a book by how much I remember from it and how often I quote the contents. In this particular case, I don\u2019t recall much from the book \u2013 all I know about mindset I learned elsewhere, despite the concept originating in this book.]<\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/jnhcoaching.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/Mindset-edited.jpg\")
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We don\u2019t grow in a vacuum. Although we hear a lot about self-development and being our best selves, it is almost impossible to grow without external input.\u00a0
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I really liked this perspective on\u00a0asking for help<\/a>\u00a0from Muriel Wilkins of HBR\u2019s Coaching Real Leaders:
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\u201cIs asking for help from others a critical part of one\u2019s leadership journey and career in order for them to grow? And in order for them to lead in a sustainable way?<\/em>\u201d\u00a0
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I love learning from and with others, and think that leaders in particular too often feel that growth and development can only be achieved alone. Choosing to get help from others can have such a positive impact on how \u2013 and how much! \u2013 you grow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/jnhcoaching.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/Coaching-Real-Leaders-1024x791.jpg\")
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The Long and the Short of It podcast did an episode recently on\u00a0Lowering the Bar<\/a>. Podcast co-host Pete Shepherd realized that\u00a0\u201cif I lowered my bar for what success looks like, I would find that I achieve that version of success a lot easier<\/em>.\u201d
How often to we set ourselves up to fail by trying to be perfect from the beginning??
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As Margaret Atwood says, \u201cThe goal is better, not perfect<\/em>\u201d. Yes!!
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Jen Waldman (the other podcast co-host) combined growth with mindfulness:
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\u201cAdjust your expectations based on the reality check of the moment that is actually existing<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0
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A brilliant piece of advice!<\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/jnhcoaching.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/THE-LONG-AND-SHORT-OF-IT-1024x790.jpg\")
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But not all good things need \u2013 or have! \u2013 metrics. And growth is often in that category.\u00a0Growth does not mean becoming more productive or efficient.\u00a0
This section of Ingrid Fetell Lee\u2019s Joyletter from February 16, 2023 really brings that home:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It seems like every week, there are a dozen more health hacks that will\u00a0totally\u00a0change my life. According to Twitter, I should be using AI to be more efficient at work (so it doesn\u2019t take my job entirely) and my inbox is bursting with tips and tricks for being BETTER.<\/em>
But what are we doing with all the time and health and freedom we\u2019re supposedly buying ourselves? Not having sex. Not getting together with friends. (Both are at historic lows.) Not having fun. (Leisure time? Also on the decline for most working age people.)<\/em>
No, by the looks of it, we\u2019re using that time to\u2026 keep optimizing. More hustling. More organizing. More scrolling in search of time-saving hacks.<\/em>
Where did we get the idea that an\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>efficient<\/strong><\/em>\u00a0life is a good one?<\/em><\/strong>
Diane Ackerman writes, \u201cI don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I have just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.\u201d<\/em>
The width of life may not be efficient or neat. But it’s where the LIFE is.\u00a0<\/em>
I couldn\u2019t agree more!!
Growth is a choice. And in my humble opinion, one of the joys of life. Even without metrics.\u00a0\ud83d\ude0a<\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/jnhcoaching.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/School-of-Joy-622x1024.jpg\")
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