If you\u2019re wondering why I\u2019m writing about perfectionism again, it\u2019s because the topic keeps finding me! So I thought we could delve into where it comes from and how perfectionism hinders more than helps us. Evidently, it is a common trait that many ambitious and goal-oriented leaders share. What\u2019s that about?!\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let\u2019s explore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
NEW YEAR, NEW YOU = YOU ARE NOT PERFECT..<\/mark><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A lot of the messaging at this time of year centres around \u201cnew year, new you\u201d \u2013 the idea that you need to reinvent yourself, to be better. Now you *know* I\u2019m a huge fan of growth, improvement, and development. Not so much a fan of putting people down in order to get them to do so, however!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Which is why this quote from one of my new favourite Substack newsletters<\/a> really resonated: <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo, we\u2019re not starting over just because it\u2019s January. Nope – we\u2019re beginning again, armed with everything we\u2019ve learned along the way<\/em>.\u201d Now this is a perspective that I can get behind! I\u2019m great the way I am, *and* there is also always room for growth. This fits far better with my favourite Simon Sinek quote:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Better is better than best. And definitely better than perfect!<\/p>\n\n\n\n PERFECTIONISM SELLS…<\/mark><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n As Dr. Jen Douglas wrote in a recent Instagram\u00a0post<\/a>, \u201cWho is benefiting from my perfectionism?<\/em>\u201d Hmm interesting question, Dr. Douglas. I\u2019d never actually thought about it. I would have guessed that *I* was? But no \u2013 if you dig a little deeper, you can see that feeling imperfect is a powerful motivator to be a consumer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Now that I routinely ask myself this question, I recognize just how much it applies to so many aspects of society. Let\u2019s face it,\u00a0\u201cif tomorrow, women woke up and decided they really liked their bodies, just think how many industries would go out of business.\u201d<\/em>\u00a0~ Dr. Gail Dines<\/p>\n\n\n\n PERFECTIONISM LIMITS YOU…<\/mark><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n For many of us, one of our aims is to be authentic. To be our real selves. Our whole selves. And to be comfortable doing and being so!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Perfectionism is the antithesis of authentic though, as Charles Duhigg points out in his brilliant book, Supercommunicators<\/a>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThe aim is not to say the exact right thing, or to arrive at the perfect insight. Perfection can\u2019t be the goal, \u2018because if you\u2019re trying to say the perfect thing, nothing authentic is going to happen.\u2019\u201d<\/em> I\u2019d never really thought about it from this perspective, but it makes complete sense. Being authentic, and being focused on being perfect are mutually exclusive goals! So we need to make the choice which one is going to drive us. Because as my friend Tina wisely said to me recently,\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTrying to be perfect doesn’t give you any growth<\/em>.” !!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n PERFECTIONISM CAN HARM YOUR CAREER…<\/mark><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n One of my most favourite resources is the Ask A Manager<\/a> website. Alison Green, a senior HR consultant writes a brilliant column on all things work-related. Her post on \u201cHow to fight perfectionism and call a project complete<\/a>\u201d is excellent, and shows how getting stuck on being perfect can really harm your career goals too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As Green writes, <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cperfectionism is a real problem if it causes you to spend far longer on something than most people would find reasonable, and especially when it interferes with your ability to juggle other priorities<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 In the article, she gives five steps to stop agonizing over whether things are perfect and get on with things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n WHAT I’M READING…<\/mark><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n You know how you see people recommending a book all over the place but somehow don\u2019t even know what the story is about?? That was the case with\u00a0Yellowface<\/a>\u00a0for me. The book was *everywhere* and yet I didn\u2019t have a clue what the story might be.\u00a0
~ Nadine Araksi<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/jnhcoaching.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/better-is-better-than-best-1024x1024.jpg\")
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(The quote is from Wade Davis of Netflix\u2019s Inclusion Strategy Team).
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So when I saw it at the library right before the holidays, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to crack it open and find out!\u00a0[Sidebar: why do so many books these days have only praise on the back cover?! I want to know what the book is about! The praise is pretty irrelevant to me. The plot of the book is not.]<\/em>
Yellowface<\/a>\u00a0is the story of June, an unsuccessful and frustrated writer, who takes \/ borrows \/ steals the unpublished manuscript of her very successful friend Athena, upon Athena\u2019s unexpected death. I really enjoyed the different layers to this novel. The story of those small decisions that seem somewhat innocuous when viewed individually, but ladder up to something egregious. [Is there a bad decision equivalent to a white lie?\u00a0\ud83e\udd14\u00a0]\u00a0\u00a0The story of cultural appropriation and who has the \u201cright\u201d to certain narratives. The story of what it takes to be a successful published author. The story of friendship. And the story of what it means to be honest with yourself about your values, your ideals, and your ambition.
I think this would make a great book club discussion book \u2013 I would love to talk through a lot of these perspectives and think it would be quite fascinating to explore everyone\u2019s interpretations of June\u2019s story and decision trajectory.\u00a0
Really enjoyed this, and am glad I picked it up!\u00a0\ud83d\ude0a<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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